Of Writing and Flexibility
I couldn't even remember the first time I write my thoughts...
My father has always been fond of writing, and both he and my mother always encourage me to write in a diary ever since I'm little. I remember that I used to write about the simplest thing, the huge rat I saw at a dumpster near my school, the binder book my friend's mother gifted to me out of the blue, the drama of elementary school girls. My entry would be filled by only a few lines about what happens to me that day. Sometimes it doesn't even contain anything particular, I just wrote that nothing special happened to me that day. Although, my inconsistency apparently has shown its seeds even then, since I couldn't write consistently for more than several days. Consistency has always been an enemy of mine in the case of creative process. Writing, painting.... I still can't comprehend how artists can draw their character repeatedly without needing to be in (what I call) Copying Mode (basically it's when I pour all my concentration into copying things).
I'm quite flexible (but not physically) in many aspects of my personality, but in my creative process, that flexibility has grown into a monster that can only be described as inconsistency. I'm quite sure that there are people (there are right?) who feels like this too, and I wonder how do you face it? Do you just let it be? Do you have something to, I don't know, classify the inconsistencies? Standardized it? (Do I sound like a lib&info student? That makes me feel like it. But well I am, so.) But yeah I'm starting to ramble. I just want to write something. I want to try to write regularly, again (although not in this blog, probably). And this time I hope it will stick. My father has also started to write regularly again. So I kind of feel empowered, or something. Also, a media to practice my English, duh. Most of the time I feel more... comfortable? No that doesn't sound right... It's just that most of the time writing in English feels more right to me rather than in Bahasa Indonesia, which is my first language.
But yeah that's my rambling for today. If you recognize yourself in these words, if you feel something stirring inside.... then message me personally please, don't run away, I'm not a mythical monster, I promise (and yes that's a blatant PJO reference).
My father has always been fond of writing, and both he and my mother always encourage me to write in a diary ever since I'm little. I remember that I used to write about the simplest thing, the huge rat I saw at a dumpster near my school, the binder book my friend's mother gifted to me out of the blue, the drama of elementary school girls. My entry would be filled by only a few lines about what happens to me that day. Sometimes it doesn't even contain anything particular, I just wrote that nothing special happened to me that day. Although, my inconsistency apparently has shown its seeds even then, since I couldn't write consistently for more than several days. Consistency has always been an enemy of mine in the case of creative process. Writing, painting.... I still can't comprehend how artists can draw their character repeatedly without needing to be in (what I call) Copying Mode (basically it's when I pour all my concentration into copying things).
I'm quite flexible (but not physically) in many aspects of my personality, but in my creative process, that flexibility has grown into a monster that can only be described as inconsistency. I'm quite sure that there are people (there are right?) who feels like this too, and I wonder how do you face it? Do you just let it be? Do you have something to, I don't know, classify the inconsistencies? Standardized it? (Do I sound like a lib&info student? That makes me feel like it. But well I am, so.) But yeah I'm starting to ramble. I just want to write something. I want to try to write regularly, again (although not in this blog, probably). And this time I hope it will stick. My father has also started to write regularly again. So I kind of feel empowered, or something. Also, a media to practice my English, duh. Most of the time I feel more... comfortable? No that doesn't sound right... It's just that most of the time writing in English feels more right to me rather than in Bahasa Indonesia, which is my first language.
But yeah that's my rambling for today. If you recognize yourself in these words, if you feel something stirring inside.... then message me personally please, don't run away, I'm not a mythical monster, I promise (and yes that's a blatant PJO reference).
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